


Not Very Scary

by Merry_Wars (Naughty_Yorick)



Category: Megamind (2010)
Genre: Banter, Complete, F/M, Fluff, Hoverbike, Teasing, fluff with makin' out
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-08-26
Updated: 2019-08-28
Packaged: 2020-09-27 09:10:54
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 6,643
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/20405248
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Naughty_Yorick/pseuds/Merry_Wars
Summary: Roxanne lets slip that she doesn't, in fact, find Megamind particularly scary. After all these years of failing to make her scream, he's finally realised why. And he's determined to change that.





	1. Chapter 1

There's about five feet of air beneath her dangling feet, and another six foot of piranha-infested water below that.

She watches, lips pursed, as one of her new heels floats listlessly about on the surface of the pool. It serves her right for not wearing more sensible shoes; she really should have seen this kidnapping coming. It's been nearly two weeks she last saw Megamind – since _anyone_ has seen him. Usually after such a long break she'll get into the habit of wearing sensible shoes and longer skirts, aware that a kidnapping is just around the corner, but this time she's failed to follow her own advice. She _knew_ that it was just a matter of time. 

The problem is, she thinks, is that the shoes themselves aren't – weren't – particularly exciting or beautiful, but had a tall heel and were comfortable to wear and did things to her legs and ass that should, frankly, be illegal. 

At least its piranhas, today, instead of crocodiles or alligators. Drop anything into the crocodile pit and they'll rip it apart in seconds – no matter what it is. The piranhas only care if you drop meat in. Perhaps when this is all over, she can get him to fish the shoe out and send it back to her. 

He's deep into his speech, but she isn't really listening. She's been through this so many times now that she can take a pretty good guess at what he's saying. Defeat Metro Man, take over the city, rule of evil, tremble before me…it's all been said a hundred times before. She hears the phrase "boyfriend in tights" and doesn't even hide rolling her eyes. _He's not my boyfriend_! She wants to yell, wants to scream at him, _Why do you think I'm wearing these shoes?! _

But she doesn't yell that, doesn't correct him; just dangles there, looking uninterested. 

"Miss Ritchi!" 

_Shit._

"Ah...?" 

He huffs and folds his arms across his chest. "Were you even listening?" 

She thinks fast. "Boyfriend in tights, taking over the city, evil overlord, blah blah blah. Right?" 

He scowls at her, and she winks at him. 

"If you _could_ take this a little more seriously, Miss Ritchi? Much appreciated." 

"I'm finding the piranhas a little difficult to _take seriously_," she responds, swaying from the rope that holds her above their tank, "They're so _cliché._" 

"Cliché or not, they could strip the flesh from your bones in _seconds_." 

"But they're not _going_ to, are they? I'm not _actually_ going to fall in, am I?" 

He laughs his tried-and-tested Supervillain laugh. "Hah! You have too much faith in your superhero boyfriend, Miss Ritchi. That sort of devotion is admirable, but it _will_ get you killed." 

It's her turn to laugh now. "Hah! That's not what I mean, Megamind, and we _both_ know it." 

"Excuse me?" 

She shrugs, as much as she _can_ shrug when she's got ropes pinning her arms to her sides. 

"You're not actually going to drop me in there, are you?" 

He splutters. "If Metro Man doesn't show up in the next twenty minu-" 

She cuts him off. "You'll what? Drop me in? Cut the rope?" 

"You…You are in _life threatening danger_, Miss Ritchi!" He says, ears turning purple, "and it would behoove you to _act_ like it." 

She's enjoying watching him get mad. He's easy to rile – and she knows this has been a point of contention in their relationship, if you could call it that, for some time. She gives him a knowing, cheeky grin. 

"Is this because you can't make me scream?" 

He's actually speechless. She raises her eyebrows at him. 

"I…I think you'll find that…if you were a…If you had the _good sense_ to be scared, then…" 

"But I'm _not_ scared." He stutters into silence, glaring at her, and she continues, "I mean. I _was_ – those first few times you kidnapped me, when we didn't…know each other. But…" She shrugs again, the ropes rubbing on her arms, "You're just…not very scary." 

He looks _furiously_ insulted, and she quickly backtracks, worried she's actually offended him. "I mean – you _are_ objectively scary. Everyone else is terrified of you, and Wa – Metro Man is always telling me what an _enormous threat_ you are. The other day, after that thing with the mech suit, my co-worker told me she had _nightmares_ about you. It's just…" 

He frowns up at her, arms crossed, one foot impatiently tapping the ground. "Just?" He prompts. 

"Just…_I'm_ not scared of you." 

"And why not?" He still looks insulted. "Are the death traps, repeated kidnappings and _continual_ threats not enough?" 

"I…" She tries to find the right way to phrase it and fails. "I _trust_ you. As stupid as that sounds." 

"You _trust me_?!" 

"I mean, you've never actually hurt me, beyond a couple of rope burns and some ruined shoes." 

"You've never been injured, Miss Ritchi, because your _saviour_ is always here to prevent it from happening!" 

"Hah!" She laughs, loud and disbelieving, before she can even stop herself. "You think _he_ saves me? He's _accidentally_ injured me more times than you have, and you're actually _trying_!" 

The inpatient foot stops tapping, and any pretence of banter or debate drops away. Megamind's face is suddenly cooly stoic, unreadable. 

"He's _what_?" 

Roxanne realises that she's said too much. "It's nothing…" 

"Miss Ritchi." 

She looks away from him, down towards the pool, around the room. "It's nothing _big_. A couple of laser-eye burns, a few bruises…he's, uh, dropped me…a couple of times. When he's saving me. But nothing really bad!" 

That's _technically_ true. There's more she isn't telling him, of course; the twisted ankle when he deposited her on the ground a little roughly, the bruise on her ribcage that didn't fade for _weeks_ after he pulled her away a little too hard. The hair – she remembers, with a shudder, the smell of burning. She'd had a pixie cut ever since. 

But she can't tell him that. He looks…well, truthfully, he looks scary. But she won't tell him _that_ either. 

He's silent, apparently processing what she's just told him. 

"It's really not a big deal." She says, looking for anything to ease the tense silence. 

He breaks out of his reverie. "You really trust me?" 

She nods. 

"One day, Miss Ritchi," he says, calmly, "You may regret that." 

She takes a breath. "You know what," she says, making sure to look him in the eyes, "I'm not sure I will." 

He narrows his eyes at her and strides away. 

"Hey!" she says, as he makes his way back towards the console on the other side of the room, "Wait!" 

He turns. "What? Are you going to _insult_ me again, hmm?" 

"No! No…It's just. Look, I dropped my shoe in your swimming pool," she holds out her shoeless foot to demonstrate, "and, you know. These are really nice shoes. If you're cleaning the tank later and _happen_ to fish it out…could you send it back?" 

He peers at her, then wanders back towards the pool and looks inside, where the shoe is still floating undisturbed on the surface. He glances back up at her. 

"_Heels_, Miss Ritchi? For a kidnapping?" 

"What?" She tries to play it cool, "Like I was supposed to know I was being kidnapped today?" 

He looks unconvinced, clearly aware that she's figured out his routine. 

"Anyway," she continues, breezily, "They make my…legs look good." 

His eyes dart down her body, taking her in, for just a fraction of a second. The movement is infinitesimal, but she catches it. 

"I'll…see what I can do." 

And he stalks off, the cape dramatically _swishing_ behind him. 

She dangles there, above the piranhas. She hopes she didn't hurt his feelings too much, but it's true: she _isn't_ scared of him. She realised she wasn't scared of him a while ago; just after the incident with the hair, in fact. 

That was nearly three years ago, and since then she's realised a lot of things about him. 

She looks, with some sadness, at the shoe, almost certainly ruined. So much for _that_. He's not done a hanging-over-water scheme in months. The last few have found her standing and tied to traps, weapons and (in one rather memorable case) a weather vane. 

Roxanne watches him as he leaps around the console, bossing around Minion, setting up the final pieces of the plot and readying the camera-bots. She supposes, just for today, she can behave. She certainly won't be _screaming_…but she'll play along. 

The cameras switch on. There's his brief, typical preamble as he attempts to goad Wayne…and then the camera cuts to her, dangling above the piranhas. Wayne's voice, amplified over the speaker system, gasps in horror. 

She puts up a show of struggling against the ropes, positive that no matter how much she wriggles they won't snap. 

"Untie me, you monster!" She shouts down, "Get me down from here!" 

It sounds cheap: a complete cliché, but he grins anyway. 

"Perhaps I _will_…" He says, sauntering over, "I could…just…" 

He vanishes behind her. Hanging like she is, she can't see where he's gone, but there's a camera-bot following close behind him – whatever it is he's got planned, Wayne and the rest of the city will see. She makes a vain attempt to swing around, gain some momentum on the rope so she can keep her eyes on him, but she's trapped, waiting. She peers down at Minion, who's deliberately avoiding eye contact. 

She's about to demand he tell her what she's doing, when there's a sudden jerk of the rope and then… 

She falls. 

She can hear Wayne yell over the speakers. Her stomach feels like its descended into her feet and there's a rush of air and her chest feels like it's about to burst and – 

With a horrible, jarring _snap_ the rope goes taught again. 

She only dropped a couple of feet, if that, but she feels an awful lot like she's going to be sick. Her heart is thudding and she can feel her pulse where the rope presses against her arms. 

"You fiend! I won't let you get away with this!" Wayne's voice, crackling through the speakers. 

She blinks – Wayne, kidnapping, tied up – right. She takes a deep breath. 

At least she didn't scream. 

He reappears and as he walks past her gives her a smug, self-satisfied grin. She scowls at him but doesn't retort – partly because she's furious with him, and partly because she's worried that if she opens her mouth, she's going to vomit into the piranha tank. 

After that, the scheme is fairly run-of-the-mill. Once she's managed to get her breath back, there's the typical banter as they wait for Metro Man to make his grand entrance – but there's a shift, now, and she's sure he's still feeling bitter because she said she wasn't scared of him. Even when Wayne arrives and the plot truly kicks off, it's clear that Megamind is more distracted than usual. 

It quickly becomes clear they aren't in the lair but hidden in a water purification plant near the edge of the city. There's some sort of plan – Roxanne, now thoroughly bored of hanging above the tank, can't figure out if he's intending to flood the city or poison the water supply – but after a brief scuffle and even briefer rescue the fight moves into the heart of the city. 

Roxanne watches as the two men vanish, followed by Minion and a swarm of brainbots. 

She looks at the shoe, now resting on the bottom of the pool, and rubs the marks on her arms where the ropes were digging in. 

"I suppose I'll be making my own way out, then." She mutters to herself.


	2. Chapter 2

Metro Man catches him, of course.

Exactly as planned. 

He watches the infuriating superhero posture and pose at the little gaggle of reporters, all desperate for an exclusive scoop. Standing a few feet away from the crowd, Roxanne is being prepped by one of her news team with her insufferable cameraman stood next to her. She's wearing a pair of sensible flats – he supposes she must keep a spare pair of shoes around. He knows that this isn't the first pair of shoes he's ruined. He only feels a  _ little _ bad about that.

He peers around, looking for The Sign. There - on the wall of the building opposite the square: a large, dripping “X” in blue paint that's clearly still wet. He makes a mental note to talk to Minion about  _ subtlety  _ when he gets home.

He puts on a show of struggling against the handcuffs that have been placed around his wrists and turns to glare at the officer holding him in place. He winks. The officer nods.

He observes the scene in front of him, calculating. Metro Man has his back to him and is facing the reporters, the best pose to ensure that both of them end up in the final shot: he victorious and Megamind defeated in the background. Roxanne is nearer, sideways on. Unlike her super-boyfriend, she's got more  _ tact _ about these things. Her reports very rarely frame either of them in the shot, unless she's finishing off with an interview. Hal is stood in front of her readying the camera and appears to be chatting to her – but she's clearly not paying attention to him.

This will be  _ easy. _

At least, he's  _ hoping _ this will be easy. He's planned to allow Metro Man to capture him a handful of times before, with various levels of success. Those had all been prepared in advance, just another part of the whatever scheme they were running that day, but this had been a spur of the moment decision, indicated to Minion before he'd been captured. That is; the  _ idea _ had been described in detail weeks ago – but the decision to carry it out today had all been rather last minute. 

He's hoping that Minion doesn't quiz him about that later. Minion had probably only been half-listening to his and Roxanne's conversation earlier, so with any luck will assume he's just…showing off. 

Which is exactly what he  _ is _ doing. Showing off. This has nothing to do with Roxanne telling him that she doesn't find him scary. Nothing to do with the fact that she, for some  _ incomprehensible _ reason, trusts him. He's showing Metro Man – and the rest of the city – how daring and clever and villainous he is. 

It's a poor defence, admittedly, considering the dramatic twist he's added to this particular scheme. Minion has no idea – it'll be a surprise for him too, when the time comes. 

His intentions are innocent, really. It's all part of the  _ chase. _ That is, after all, what his and Roxanne's relationship – not that he's categorising their familiarity as a  _ relationship, _ of course – is based on. Not a literal chase, not like the one between him and his super powered rival, but one of wits. The little flip he gets in his stomach when she counters one of his quips with a biting, provocative retort is because he's enjoying battling with words. When she calls out his plot before he's even announced it his heart skips a beat because she's challenging him. It's all for the thrill of the chase. 

And now he's taking it a step further. This isn't particularly unusual; one of them will, occasionally, take a step too far, make a comment that cuts too deep. He thinks she realised that she did that today. Two can play at that game.

He twists a hand around in the metal cuff, stretches his fingers out and lightly taps the police officer on the wrist.

_ Three _

_ Two _

_ One… _

The handcuffs swing open.

_ Now. _

He leaps forwards, shoving the officer back. By the time anyone's realised what's happening, he's sprinting towards Roxanne. There's a yell, from where he has no idea, and she turns just in time to see him running and her eyes widen and he's sure,  _ absolutely sure _ that he detects a small smile.

He times it  _ perfectly.  _ Barely pausing, he throws himself  _ into _ Roxanne, scoops her up into his arms and heads towards the “X” sprayed onto the wall of the building opposite.

“Sorry about this, Miss Ritchi!”

He reaches into a concealed pocket, pulls out the remote and presses a button - and the hoverbike suddenly shimmers into view, parked right below the "X".

He hears her gasp as she realises what he's about to do. 

He leaps onto the bike, throwing Roxanne in front of him and grabbing the handles. “Hold on!” he calls as he kicks the engine into life. Roxanne doesn't need telling twice, and she throws her arms around him as the bike roars off and up.

Behind him, he can hear Metro Man call after them - “Roxie!” - and he shifts gear, gaining speed, buildings whistling past and wind whipping at his face. He manoeuvres between buildings, leading Metro Man on a chase through the maze of offices and apartment blocks, turning at sharp angles, barely missing the high rises. Roxanne clings to him, and he can feel her fingernails in the fabric of his suit and digging into his back. 

He takes another sudden turn, zigzagging through the city, and Roxanne grips onto him even harder.

“Jesus  _ fucking _ Christ, Megamind!” She yells, “could you not have chosen something with fucking seatbelts?!”

He laughs, yells back to her, “You were right, you know! You're perfectly safe, Miss Ritchi!”

He circles a building, going all the way around it and out the way he came, passing Metro Man with a cheeky wave as Roxanne mutters  _ "Ohshitshitshit" _ into his chest.

“There's a low-level gravity field on the bike,” he tries to explain, yelling as the wind threatens to smother him, “You couldn't fall off even if you tried!"

She stops swearing. “Really?”

“I thought you said you  _ trusted _ me?”

Her grip loosens, just a little. She cautiously lifts her head up, watches the buildings zooming past, feeling the wind battering her face. Against all odds, she starts to laugh. 

Until, that is, she spots the mirrored windows of the giant office block in the centre of town zooming towards them.

“Megamind…”

He ignores her and powers forwards, revs the bike and shifts gear again with a little  _ boom _ and a burst of speed.

“Megamind!”

_ Nearly, nearly… _

They're feet from the glass surface, so close he can see himself reflected in the mirror finish, so close that he can see Roxanne with her arms wrapped around him, holding onto him, and Evil Gods, there's no way he can blame the flip in his stomach and the quickening of his heart on  _ the thrill of the chase  _ anymore and – 

_ "Megamind!" _

He pulls back on the handles and suddenly they're travelling vertically,  _ up _ the side of the building, the glass visibly vibrating beneath the hoverbike. Roxanne is now pressed into him as they go up, up, up, and he yells into wind  _ "Open your eyes!” _

Inexplicably, she does what he says, just as they reach the top of the building and he pulls at the handles and sends them not over the top of the tower but backwards, peeling away at a right angle, the bike upside down and them, hanging, dangling, the wind rushing by and – 

Roxanne screams. 

Megamind laughs, the sound mingling with her yells and the roar of the hoverbike, does a neat little corkscrew and suddenly they're the right way up again. Roxanne, breathing heavily, clings to Megamind like her life depends on it. “Holy  shit."  she mutters into his chest, her voice muffled by the speed of the bike.

They zip down a long road, ducking under the bridges of a spaghetti junction before circling round, back towards the city centre.

“Ready?” Calls Megamind, peering down at his captive. 

“R...ready? For  _ what?”  _ Roxanne sounds like she can't take any more surprises. Megamind gestures towards the building in front of them, and recognition dawns on her face as they begin to fly in a tight spiral up her apartment block.

As they near the top, he begins to lose speed. “You're going to have to let go,” he calls to Roxanne, who blinks then slowly starts to release her grip on him. “We'll bank around slowly but we can't stop – the gravity field will drop for a few seconds and you need to jump off. You ready?”

She nods, silently.

“I need a verbal confirmation, please.”

“I...I'm ready?”

“Good.”

He zooms up, circles her apartment one last time then pulls the bike in above her balcony. As he swoops over, the speed drops, the bike tilts and Roxanne slips from his lap and somehow manages to land on her feet. He wants to compliment her on the smooth landing, but there's a yell from behind - Metro Man.

Instead he shouts “See you around, Miss Ritchi!”, kicks the bike back into gear and speeds off. He slams his hand into the big red button in between the handles and -  _ zap _ \- disappears.


	3. Chapter 3

Roxanne stands on her balcony, utterly speechless. Her heart feels like it's trying to leap out of her mouth. 

“Roxie!” She spins. Metro Man. “Are you alright, Roxie?”

She nods silently, trying to catch her breath.

“Which way did he go?”

“Uh…” She stumbles over the words, “That...that way,” she points with a vague gesture, “But the...but he vanished, the invisibility…”

Metro Man scowls. “Crab Nuggets!” He curses, “The fiend...Roxie, I've got to go talk to the Police Commissioner, will you be okay?”

She smiles at him, aware she probably looks a little manic, and says “Oh sure! Yeah! I'm fine!” She's trying to sound airy, carefree. She's not sure it's working and attempts to emphasise her point with a laugh - which only exacerbates how frenzied she sounds.

“You're  _sure_?" He looks genuinely worried now.

She takes a deep breath, steadying herself. “I'm...I'm fine. I'm not hurt. Just...in shock? I need to get a glass of water and sit down and I'll be fine.”

He nods, still looking unconvinced, but zooms away anyway. As soon as she's positive he’s gone, she slides down to the floor, the cool brick of the balcony against her back, listening to her heart thunder in her eardrums. 

She sits like that for a minute or so before pulling herself up and shakily making her way back inside. Adrenaline is making her legs feel weak, but she's buzzing, like she's vibrating from the inside out. She walks to the kitchen, grabs a glass and fills it from the tap with a shaking hand. 

That was...well. She closes her eyes, remembers the swooping, the roar of the bike, the wind in her hair, the feeling of weightlessness. It wasn't scary. It was  _ thrilling. _

She remembers the feeling of being pressed against him, too. Of throwing her arms around him when she realised what he was doing, never even  _ considering _ doing anything else. How it felt when the speed of the bike forced her against him, when gravity squashed her to his chest, his arms penning her in on either side. She feels dizzy – not just from the ride – and the memory of how close she was to him sets butterflies fluttering in her stomach. 

She slowly raises the glass to drink and realises, sadly, that as soon as she leaves her apartment tomorrow and finds herself around  _ people, _ she's going to need to act the victim again. She's going to have to tell people how  _ terrifying _ it was; she's going to have to ham it up for the cameras. Every station in Metro City is going to want an interview with her, and she'll need to repeat the same worn-out lie over and over again:  _ I'm so glad Metro Man was there to save me. _

Not that he did any  _ saving. _ She's tempted to tell the truth about that part. She plans a brief statement in her head – "Megamind dropped me off at my apartment, unharmed, before vanishing." She considers for a moment, then amends it: " _ Completely _ unharmed." 

She wonders if it would be weird to tell him how much she'd enjoyed their little joy ride the next time she sees him. Would it cross a boundary? Would he think she was challenging him, or teasing him, even mocking him? Or…would he do it again? 

If he had stayed, just for a minute, she could have said something. Not that she knows what she would have said.

She places the glass down slightly harder than she intends to and sighs. Truthfully, it's a good thing he's not here. A good thing he's vanished, again. With her body shuddering with adrenaline and her insides full of butterflies...she's not sure she trusts herself. 

She's so absorbed in thought and exhilaration that she doesn't even hear the balcony door quietly open with a  _ click. _

“Seems you were wrong, Miss Ritchi.”

Her heart leaps back up into her throat and she spins around. 

“Looks like I  _ can _ make you scream.”

He's there, leaning in the doorway, looking smug with his eyebrows raised and his arms folded. 

The logical, rational part of Roxanne’s brain shuts off. Unthinkingly, she edges towards him and then - somehow - she's  _ running _ towards him across the length of her apartment. Now it's his turn to look shocked as she barrels into him, throws her arms around his neck and presses her lips against his.

It's like lightning. 

He's stunned. At first he doesn't respond, then moves his arms up and away in shock, as if trying not to touch her, and Roxanne realises what she's doing and more importantly what he's  _ not _ doing. It feels like a fracture has opened up inside her and she pulls away.

“I'm…” She can't bring herself to finish the thought and goes to move, tries to escape, but there's suddenly hands gripping her wrists and he's gently, but firmly, guiding her back. He looks speechlessly shocked, his mouth slightly open and the tips of his ears a startling purple shade. He doesn't say anything, doesn't need to, just slides his hands from her wrists up to her shoulders, his eyes darting back and forth as he tries to read her face. 

She goes to speak – to tell him it's okay, that she's sorry – but he leans in and suddenly the unspoken words dissipate as he kisses her, and her fears and apologies dissolve against his lips. 

It's almost like she's back on the bike, back whirling above the city, her heart dancing and flipping as his hands roam from her shoulders to her back, pressing her into him, holding her close. She slips her hands around his waist, underneath the cape which he is still, somehow, wearing, and he shudders at the touch. Encouraged, she snakes her hands up his back, relishing the feel of his skinny frame beneath her fingers. 

He's roaming too, and one cool hand traces up her back and up her neck into her hair, his long fingers pressing into her scalp, sending electric tingles down her spine. She needs him to be closer, and almost instinctively her hands move to his hips and  _ pull, _ pressing him into her. He makes a sound – like nothing she's heard before – almost like a purr, or a growl. 

Their feet move together as the force of her kiss pushes him backwards, his fingers now digging into her neck, into her scalp, their chests pressed together. She opens her mouth beneath his, taking his lower lip between hers, and he makes that delicious noise again so she takes a step further – always a step further – and presses her teeth, ever so gently, into the soft skin and –

They stumble backwards, and suddenly they’re falling, and neither of them has time to react before they crash into cold, hard concrete. Roxanne now on top of Megamind, their legs tangled together and his cape wrapped around the both of them.

She looks around. They've fallen straight through the open door and onto the balcony. 

She pushes herself up, letting his cape fall away, one knee on either side of his hips. He stares up at her, and suddenly just looking at him feels completely new, completely different. He gazes at her with smouldering eyes, his cheeks and ears purple, his lips pink and shiny. A cool breeze waves across them: it feels like ice on her cheeks.

"I…" She starts, but she's feeling breathless and giddy; part adrenaline, part desire. "I…" She laughs. "Wow."

He pushes himself up to lean on his elbows. "...Wow."

She realises, now, that she's straddling him – that he's trapped beneath her. He seems to realise at the same time, and his eyes darken even more. 

She's struck with the sudden urge to lean down and kiss him, to press herself against him out here on the balcony, but it's an exposed spot – anyone from the neighbouring apartments might see them. Anyone could have  _ already _ seen them.

That thought alone is enough to send an icy chill down her spine. 

"We should go back inside," she says, "before someone….in case someone…"

He understands immediately, eyes widening in horror, and she rolls off of him, and together they make their way back into the apartment, making sure the door is closed behind them. She smiles, nervously, pushes a stray hair behind her ear. She desperately wants to kiss him again, wants to feel his body against hers, but suddenly there's a nervous pit in her stomach and she's so unsure – like the fall onto the balcony had jolted her out of her fantasy, made her realise what she was doing. What she  _ shouldn't _ be doing. He appears to be feeling the same way; his face is still flushed but now he looks worried.

She steps back towards him. She wants to touch him – to put her hands on his shoulders, to embrace him and return to that soft,  _ sure _ feeling – but she can't, not with his cloak and spikey mantle. 

Cautiously, she reaches up.

"Can I..?" 

He doesn’t respond – just stares at her like he can't quite believe what's happening – and she takes that as a yes. She begins to fiddle with the concealed clasp, aware of the thin fabric of his suit beneath her fingers, aware of the way his chest rises and falls as he breathes. 

The clasp is sturdy: it has to be, when he's throwing himself around and getting into superpowered fights, but she slips her fingers beneath it and soon wriggles it free. As she begins to slide the cape off of his shoulders, he reaches up and grabs her hands, keeping them in place.

"What are you…What are you doing?"

"Taking this off," she says, trying to sound casual, trying to mask the nervous pit that's growing, roaring at her, "So I can…"

"We can't." He cuts her off. He isn't even looking at her.

Ah – there it is. She moves her hands away, pulls them from his grasp like she's been burnt, and takes a step back. He closes the clasp.

"We can't do this, Roxanne. It's not…it's not  _ safe." _

She frowns at him, disbelieving. "I know that was close, but…no one can see us in here."

"Not that." He says, then sighs. "You were right. You're  _ always _ right. I'd never hurt you, not on purpose, not accidentally. But you said it yourself, Roxanne. You  _ told _ me. If he found out…"

"What are you –" She starts, but he talks over her.

"I'd tell him it was all me, of course. That it was my fault. That I…seduced you. That's what villains  _ do. _ But if he was angry – if he was  _ jealous _ – and took it out on you…" he sighs, "I couldn't forgive myself. You  _ need _ to understand, Roxanne. I wish I could…but I can't.  _ We _ can't." 

She doesn't know what he's talking about –  _ who _ he's talking about. She blinks at him, unable to speak, feeling hot tears pricking in the corners of her eyes, and shakes her head.

He seems to take the gesture as one of dissent. "I know you think he wouldn't, but you don’t know him like I do." 

She finally finds her voice, and it croaks out. "What are you  _ talking about?" _

He looks confused too, now. "Your…I mean…Metro Man, obviously!" 

"But why would…" And then her eyes go wide, and she presses her hands over her face and then, inexplicably, she starts to laugh.  _ Of course. _

He flounders, aghast.

"This is  _ serious, _ Roxanne, how can you-"

"We're not dating!"

His face goes blank.

"You…what?" He says, limply.

"We're not dating! We never  _ were _ dating, it was all an act! It was just easier to...to pretend."

"But… _ why?" _

"It kept both of our moms quiet," she starts, "and, you know, it worked out well. It meant I got exclusive scoops, and we figured it'd be better for everyone if it was  _ me _ getting kidnapped and not someone who'd make a scene. And, I mean…" she sighs, "I…didn't want to give it up. Not that I told Metro Man that."

"Didn't want to…give  _ what _ up?"

She laughs. "Kidnapping rights, I guess? The thought of you kidnapping someone else…" She shudders. "Honestly? I couldn't deal with it.  _ Hated _ it. So I kept making up excuses and he just went along with it because it's easier for everyone this way."

"But…why would I have kidnapped someone else?"

"Because I'm  _ not _ his girlfriend?" She says, feeling like she's stating the obvious. "Because I wouldn't be a bargaining chip anymore. I'm a pretty low-value victim when you know we aren't dating." 

"That's…that's insane, Roxanne."

That makes her laugh, at least. "Well,  _ yeah,  _ I know that.”

"I don't give a  _ shit _ about you dating him."

"…what?"

"I did at first!" He adds, hurriedly, "Kidnapping you was a good way to get his attention. And, as I hope I've made clear, I never had any intentions to…to  _ steal _ you from him. But then, after all this time, even if I’d  _ known _ …I'd never stop kidnapping you, Roxanne."

"…You wouldn't?"

"No! Not unless…" He pauses to think, "Not unless you asked.  _ Really _ asked, that is, not just complaining."

Roxanne sighs, and runs her hands through her hair, and suddenly everything is clear; clearer than it's been in a long time.

"I'm an idiot." She mutters, more to herself than to him, and kisses him again, her hands gripping onto the fabric of his cape. It's brief, but fierce, and when she breaks away, she laughs again. "We could have been doing this for  _ so long." _

She lets her hands slide back to the clasp, unhooks it, and gently pushes it from his shoulders. It falls to the floor with a soft  _ thump. _ She runs her hands over his shoulders, gently brushes her thumbs over his collar bones, jutting beneath the fabric of his suit. She goes to kiss him again, but he raises a gloved hand and presses a finger against her lips.

"Are you sure about this?"

Roxanne peers at him through her eyelashes and places a delicate kiss on the tip of his finger.

"I'm sure." 

That's all he needs to hear, and then he's on her, his hands moving down her body to her hips and pulling her towards him, and the feeling of him touching her  _ like this _ makes her feel like her skin is on fire. Without his cape in the way, he's suddenly exposed to her, and she presses one hand into the crook of his neck and, unthinking, runs the other up his spine and over the base of his head, her nails tracing butterfly-light lines on his skin as she goes. He groans against her mouth. 

Before she's realised what's happening, the backs of her legs collide with something and she finds herself tumbling backwards onto her couch, pulling Megamind with her, far more gracefully than their fall onto the balcony. She collapses backwards and he drops on top of her, pinning her down onto the plush cushion. 

His lips move from her mouth and he traces a line along her jaw and down the length of her neck, peppering her skin with kisses. And then his lips part and – oh – teeth. She feels her skin shiver into goosebumps and digs her nails into his shoulder blades. He reaches her collar bone and follows it across her chest, and she stifles a small, breathless gasp as she feels the touch of his tongue flicking against her sternum.

And then he's back, back to her lips, and all she can think is how good it feels, the way his touch makes her skin tingle. She parts her lips as he kisses her, the warm, satisfied feeling spreading down her core as he takes her lower lip between his teeth. One of his hands glides up her arm then slips beneath her head while the other remains snug in the curve of her back, trapped between her and the couch. 

He kisses her like he might never get to kiss her again, kisses her like it's a miracle. As she moves a hand up his back and grasps the back of his neck, just below his skull, he moans again and she smiles – she laughs out loud against his mouth, can’t hold it back as she delights in the feeling of  _ this. _

He backs away, looking a little embarrassed, but she keeps her hands clasped to him, fearing another vanishing act. 

"I…ah…" He begins, flustered, "…Alien. The whole  _ head and neck _ area, it's…"

Realisation dawns on her and her eyes widen. "Oh! I…" she can feel her skin flushing as she realises what he means, traps her bottom lip between her teeth, "I can…do you need me to…"

He stares down at her, hungrily. "Don't stop."

She doesn’t.

  
  


**

Later, a long time later, she leans against him on the couch, their arms pressed together. 

"Why did you do it?”

It takes him a moment. "Why did I get you on the bike?"

"Yeah."

“Honestly?”

“Yes!”

“Because I wanted to.” 

She hadn't been expecting that. 

“But of course," he continues, "should anyone  _ ask _ it's because I knew that Metro Man was far less likely to use his laser vision if I had you on the bike too.”

She leans away a little. “I was a human shield?”

“Strictly for PR purposes, you understand. I can't have Metrocity thinking that stunt was just so I could be close to you.” He pauses, thinks, “Well, that and to see if I could make you scream.”

"You wanted…" She swallows, "You wanted to be close to me? You weren't just trying to…mend your wounded ego?"

He snorts at that, then his expression drifts, and he looks almost pensive, avoiding her gaze. "I always want to be close to you."

She  _ really _ hadn't been expecting that. He's still looking away from her, as if he's nervous that he went too far – as if such a soft, gentle admission is more scandalous than the way his teeth had dragged against the skin of her neck barely half an hour ago. She doesn't say anything; just scoots back towards him on the couch, slides beneath his arm and nestles into the side of his chest, her head resting against him.

She can feel his breath hitch and he blinks, then finally peers down at her.

"Why…" He starts, then falters a second before continuing, "…Why did  _ you  _ do it?"

"Do what?"

"Why did you…" She can spot a faint purple flush around his cheekbones, "Why did you kiss me?"

"Honestly?"

"Yes."

She shifts her weight against him, moving a hand up his chest to rest between his shoulder and neck. 

"Because I wanted to." 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this all started with the bike scene, and then the kiss...but I couldn't just leave it there.
> 
> Thank you for reading! 💙


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